What the Twins did to Ironhide
by staringsideways
Summary: 2007 Movieverse: A random remark from Epps gives Sideswipe an idea. But where was he going to get the mask, and exactly how much sedative do you need to knock out a two ton alien robot? Short and very daft follow on to Collateral Damage.


_**Disclaimer**__ - Transformers are entirely the property of IDW/Hasbro/Dreamworks/Takara and likely many others with highly trained attack lawyers. I own nothing except the ludicrously flimsy plot that follows. _

* * *

**WHAT THE TWINS DID TO IRONHIDE**

The hard part had been getting the sedative from Ratchets newly built med bay so they could dose his high-grade, after a considerable amount of recon they had decided a distraction was the only way to go. 

"This was your idea so you get to do it"

"Aww come on Sunny" Sideswipe pulled his best cute sparkling expression hoping to get around the scowling mech.

"No way no how Sides, I only just got this form back the way I like it. I am **not** damaging it again" adding almost as an afterthought "And don't call me Sunny!"

The red mech let out a very human sounding 'hurmph' his faceplates set in a pout as he slouched, sulking, onto a chair. It didn't last long though "Would you do it for half my high-grade stash?"

The scowl faded as Sunstreaker considered the offer, finally handing the sledgehammer to his now grinning twin "Fine - but watch the faceplates"

-----------ooo0ooo----------- 

Really it was a plan utterly stunning in its simplicity if Sideswipe did say so himself, they already knew the grizzly old warrior was a heavy sleeper, they just needed to make sure he stayed in recharge long enough for Sunny to complete his masterpiece. It was the humans fault really, one off the cuff remark from Epps about the black mechs appearance had sent Sideswipe on a web hunt, and well, everything after that was inevitable...

-----------ooo0ooo----------- 

Ratchet led the Autobot Commander down the corridor, empty due to the early hour, and towards the sleeping quarters "I should have suspected something when those two aft-brained idiots were in the bay yesterday. Sunstreaker was far too quiet when I was making repairs"

"And I really should have been more suspicious when Wheeljack reported those missing welding tools" Prowl turned from his position outside Ironhides room to greet the approaching mechs, doorwings noticeably twitching. "I've already had Red Alert escort them to the brig for questioning" another twitch "For their own safety"

"So what did they do to him this ti…" Primes voice trailed off as he took in the scene, optics wide in shock.

The bulky weapons specialist lay on his recharge bed, dead to the world thanks Ratchets pilfered sedative. The door was gone, replaced with metal bars, and a small, neatly inscribed plaque had been attached to the wall proclaiming its inhabitant as _The Rare Cybertronian Silverback "Ironous Hideus" – shows signs of minimal intelligence, noted for unreasonable and aggressive tendencies when allowed to roam free_. A messier hand had added a note underneath in what looked like magic marker. _Please don't feed the animals._

"At least" Prowl observed dryly "We finally know what happened to the rec room carpet"

Ironhides armour was covered top to toe in carpet tiles, still black save for a band of silver on his midsection back plates. But the finishing touch was undoubtedly the mask.

"Where did they even find one that big?" The Autobot Commander asked no one in particular.

"I swear to Primus – if those two spent as much time planning battles as they do pranks they'd probably give you a run for your credits" The medics voice was sharp but both mechs could tell from a familiar twitch on his faceplates, only noticeable due to vorns of friendship, that he was desperately trying not to laugh. The comment earned a pointedly raised optic ridge from the tactician.

"I suppose we should get him out of there"

"Indeed"

"Preferably before he wakes up"

"Undoubtedly"

"Wouldn't do to have the rest of the base see him like this"

"Certainly not"

"So - any volunteers?"

-----------ooo0ooo-----------

**The Brig**

A small explosion from above caused dirt to shake loose from the ceiling lightly dusting the two mechs "Sounds like Ratchets sedative wore off"

"Do you think we should have told them about the bananas?" Sideswipe turned to the yellow mech with an infectious grin "Aww now where's the fun in that?"

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_As requested, a follow-up to my Collateral Damage one-shot. Hope it managed to live up to the expectations – if not feel free to make-up something even more mortifying for everyones favourite weapons specialist. As usual comments/crit always welcome :)_


End file.
